I wanna bring you to show and tell
If I had a nickel for every time I've used a condom, I'd have... two nickels.
dude, i woke up naked in her front yard...apparently i tried to leave in the middle of the night, forgot my clothes and decided,"oh heres a nice patch of grass to sleep on" I think god is up there laughing at me.
guess who just trotted in eating her oats and wagging her penis
Nothing says I have a hang over like telling your boss to "eat your shit"
If youre the one that ate my brownies this morning I only have two things to say to you
Those had pot in them
And good luck on your interview asshole
Have fun at school today. Try to hide that you're a whore. The other girls will like you better that way.
i have no feeling in my penis or fingers but i think it was worth it
Unless you consider jello shots food the answer is no there is no dinner here. When u get food get more wine too tired of you coming over drinking all my booze and destroying my vagina
She's like the King Midas of sexual confusion. Everything she touches turns to gay.
I'm a dude in a dress, who came to a party with Holly GoLightly, got hit on by Bambi's mom, and wants to do terrible things to Link. Halloween is weird
He literally poured blue Gatorade on me after we had sex and said "good game" all over my white sheets
I'm glad we smoked together,that was probs the biggest sibling bonding we will ever have.
She was cleaning herself at the bus stop. She also picked up gum off the ground and ate it
I've got two reasons for you to come over later and one of them is pierced.
Randomize
