**** and his GF asked me to give his stuff back, and they would give me a 100. HA, they dont know I have it to charity haha
ok so I'm texting you now like I promised instead of drunktexting aaron and telling him how badly I want his cock tonight. aren't you proud?
this is Aaron, hi
So many tools at one table, you'd enjoy my italian family
had to split buying plan b over two cards. I will no longer challenge people to get on my level
I guess I'll put a green shirt on. Also, I just snorted some protein shake power. That doesn't have anything to do with St. Patrick's Day. I just wanted you to know in case i die.
at least the person I hooked up with donates to charity, the shirt I was wearing this morning was his relay for life shirt.
Your car is in front of my house. Keys are in the mailbox. There is a fire hydrant in your trunk. Happy Birthday
I like to get drunk just like anyone else but not to the point of sticking a rubber tube up my asshole
She was pouring Goldschlager in my mouth during the shower sex. How can you NOT like her?
didn't realize her mom was home while we were fucking, but she's oddly okay with it. she made us food afterwards. but then kept talking about having grand kids the whole time. is it time to bail?
I took did three shots of fireball and did and handstand. When I stood up some busty slut lead me my the hand down the hall into her dorm room.
But I'm sure your having and "a monumentally better time" repeating the 12th grade
Oh no. Did you guys fuck on my pull out couch?
I say I'm working from home on conference call days, but really I just mute the phone, put that shit on speaker so I can hear what's going on, and let Marcus fuck my brains out.
Add tweezing eyebrows to the list of things not to do while on adderol....
You know you're drunk when you have to be picked up out of a bathtub.
Randomize
