Sometimes I wonder if we could be friends if we lived closer.
party was madd awkward.. it was like every person who i sat next to in high school and never said hi to was there
He's doing the 1:45AM lap: he goes around the bar, finds the hottest crying girl 15 minutes before close, and brings her home. I would feel bad for the girls if it wasn't such incredible genius.
Yes, yes she is. This will teach her not to pull her vibrator out and harass people with it at parties.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Mom just Facebook checked into an Applebees at 2am. Caption: ''WITH THE BESTIEZ.''
We had sex under a tree in his boss's backyard, then I hooked up with his best friend. I don't even care how I got home.
Boats looked like robot pelicans and time was slow and now im on wipe out
Thank you for not puking on my lap during the first class of the semester. And fuck you for doing it in the second.
I just realized why I have little cuts all over my fingers. There was a broken pint glass in my purse last night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up in a chipotle parking lot with an industrial sized box of condoms and a bag of dounut holes. I need Jesus
I was all, oh. I've had tattoos and broken a limb. Waxing my lady parts will be a cake walk. I was wrong.
I LinkedIn messaged people about jobs when I was blacked out
Well I hate to admit it but at this point I can successfully say i have been pee'd on by both of my roommates.
Was that before, or after strip tac toe.....
I ACCIDENTALLY MURDERED MY COUSIN
HOW DO YOU ACCIDENTALLY MURDER YOUR COUSIN
Randomize