suntimes in life you find a rare opportunity, mine was bonin my gf in front of the tv
Thats how high i was. The fact that he looked like Seth Rogan was apparently a good thing.
just got a rotting pancake and bacon in the mail from your address....
You guys tried to boil water to fill up the empty hot tub. After the fourth trip back with the kettle you gave up.
Totalylr drunk. Coveredc in cryola marker. Loving it. Straight men everywhere. Don't be surprises when I'm pregbat romorrowwwww
You have all been randomly chosen to participate in a new game called: how high was I? If you have any information about this or about where my clothing items went give me a shout. Thanks an good luck.
In lieu of flowers, please donate to The Hungover Children's Fund in my name.
I think we need to teach you what straight means again
Telling someone to make good decisions on a Thursday is like telling Santa to be Jewish.
my roommate just said she thinks she got a flashback or some memory of me getting hit by a car.
You know, I think when I have a lot of free time, thats when I pick up odd lovers. Maybe keeping busy is key to not using my vagina
My phone autocorrected "shhhhh" to "AHHHHHHHHH" and I feel like that says a lot about my life
her nickname was handjob. I knew what i was getting into.
And by "sexually intimate," you mean fuck buddies?
Go ahead without me. This chick is buying me drinks and just found out her husband is cheating on her. I think I just found the next level of revenge fucking: Scorned Trophy Wife Sex
Randomize
