omg my older sister has been googling "how do I know if I've had an orgasm?" and "bj tips". the family laptop is not meant for this...
They peed on our pledges last night... i dont know if i should put an lol at the end of that or not
He doesn't like you, he likes u not having a gag relfex
she uses eco-friendly sex toys. she is the literal definition of a hippie.
throwing up turkey will be a nice break from throwing up ramen
you better take a shot tonight for every cat you have ever seen and wanted. this is a lot of cats.
Want to come over? I'm getting stoned and watching Netflix and making s'mores over a candle in my room
I just woke up from quarter beer tuesdays wearing 3 pairs of underwear, none of which are the ones I left wearing...2 Around my waist and one around my shoulder in an attempt at a bra. At least drunk me tries to be decent?
to have them in my mouth would be like meeting a unicorn while floating on a cloud of glitter
Where can I buy a stripper pole at midnight on a Sunday?
my grandma just gave me a shoebox fulled to the top with tootsie rolls and condoms with a not that said "enjoy college, find a big cock" i'm not sure how I feel about this
Well he waved at me as he was leaving so he def noticed the staring, and by staring i mean blatant eye fucking from across the bar..
ETA 20 minutes and if you greet me at the door with a gin & tonic I’ll give you head.
I walked into your room and you were wearing party beads, a foam finger, and reading the dictionary. Good night?
Naptime over. I've got fresh contacts and tequila. RAAAAAAGE!
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