The way you explained my vagina was exactly the way I would of described my breakfast burrito.
90% of the problems in your life are directly related to your vagina
whoever says they hate hangovers just doesnt know how to embrace them. i'm eating a mashed potato sandwich and watching grind.
Dude you spent the last hour of the night in the bathroom crying, asking someone why you will never be as smart as Mr.Feeney from boy meets world.
I've decided I'm peeing in a solo cup then throwing it on his windshield. It's official. He called the cops 4 times in our first week at the house. He deserves it, right?
You just kept walking around saying "my brain is soup" then sat on the kitchen counter washing your feet. You bit the guy that tried to help you down
you stumbled up the stairs in your heels, pulled 23 one-dollar bills out of your bra and then went and puked in the toilet. didnt say a single thing to me the whole time
I hooked up with a British man... Wiz Khalifa has your bra... Couldn't have been a more successful night!
I'm facebook/twitter stalking the guy I just slept with as he's passed out next to me. What a time to be alive...
He stuck a cigarette in my butt last night. There is no coming back from that.
I'm still not sure how to feel about the fact that we had a threesome with a guy the same age as my dad
You're lucky I'm holding your vagina in my best interests
you said, "I wonder what your mum is doing right now." in the middle of sex, of course I threw up on you.
Ok. Yes. He has a tiny penis. But he also has a trust fund.
All of a sudden he got that look on his face and ran to the dance floor and started fist pumping to Rihanna that kind of night
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