take 3 tylenol pm's and try playing basketball.
Changed my sheets. Found a can of rockstar, crushed bag of tostitos, used tissues, and enough of both of our clothes to make a whole outfit.
high in an attic. pig roast in 10.
we should hire that guy that makes pancakes that we met last weekend for our next party. He can feed us, and regulate!
We've completely outdone ourselves. We packaged a collective total of six grams of pot and salvia into little bowl-sized tinfoil capsules. It's totally impossible to tell which is which without comparing, every Friday from now on we pick one out and see what the fuck happens
at the end of the day, college isnt gonna be for everyone... and some of us are just going to have to learn how to breathe underwater while sucking cock.
Seriously, come get him. He's not even a person anymore. He's a loud, drunk, cock-blocking wrecking ball.
And then you proceeded to sneak behind thee bar and hold up an empty bottle of vodka and scream LOOK WHO THE BARTENDER IS NOW BITCH!
We won't have time to talk.. I'll be rolling you a blunt and you'll be getting naked.
I don't care what you say, the fact that he's a drag queen with the same shoe size as me is reason enough to date him
I may not be his cup of tea, but I bet I'm his 10th shot of tequila
I puked on his mom. Not my proudest moment
I have need of you to return home with haste, as I require the magical capsules you possess to relieve the posterior pain I am living. I battle this demon with stubborn grit, however I feel that defeat is on the horizon.
I got locked into my place today. You might be wondering if that was a typo... It's not.
when the cops came she just started yelling at them "Fuck the police! freedom of speech bitches!"
Randomize
