hey babe thanks for tonight, it was fun.
to be honest, i wanna fuck your friend.
Kelly went into her room with Dave, but is moaning Tommy...
Almost accidentally stole a baby... explain later
I'm having post traumatic stress flashbacks of last night. That big. Don't know whether to call him again or change my name...
She's making tacos & sangria tonight. I'm sure that's how the pilgrims pregamed.
Well tech shes born nov 12, but since her head was out on the 11th, she claims both days as her birthday
I feel like I got run over by a bus full of inebriated Scotsmen on the way to a soccer riot.
All three of my roommates have their significant others over. We're all hanging out in the living room. It's like I'm the trifecta of third-wheeling
The sex is great, I just think it'd be better if we listened to Deftones during it.
He wants Portugal to lose so badly he threw out all the sangria. You know how depressing it is to watch someone dump 4 gallons of heaven?
I wish there was a morning after pill for dominoes.
He didn't have much of a personality. But I had like 100 orgasms, so that's cool.
I saw an episode of cops that had one of my ex husbands on it.
I WANT BLOOD. HERS. I WILL DYE A FABULOUS PAIR OF SUEDE PUMPS RED WITH HER BLOOD.
My dad is clearly baked off his ass. He almost sat on moms cat in front of her, zoned out while staring at it and said he wondered what it was thinking about. Now he's dragging everything from the livingroom into the garage. Moms not happy.
Randomize
