She is in my trunk
I've done 29 out of the 30 things to do to a naked man according to Cosmo. I don't know if that makes me innovative or slutty.
Genius.
My aunt just said- "pizza is like sex. Even if it ain't good it ain't bad." Obviously she doesn't know us too well.
he started yelling "squirt for me" then his girlfriend knocked on the door and told us to keep it down
i'm not really understanding how she couldn't figure out it was him
his penis was like watching paranormal activity your very hyped up to see it but you think it might be very scary and in the end you didnt really see anything at all
Hey guess what I got for Valentine's day? Debt and blue balls.
Apparently I climbed into a dryer last night and refused to leave... There are pictures to prove it
After all you put him through, I think it was only right that you saluted the bartender when you left.
Because its an amazing idea and you're the only one I can think of that will allow a pirate threesome
He won't sleep with me again until I commit...
Run. There is other dick in the sea, less clingy dick.
Welcome to the first annual slutathon and let the men be ever in our favor
I am in a hotel room with 10 people. John is in bed eating an industrial sized pan of mashed potatoes. I think a non insignificant number of people saw my nipples.
You don't know how skeptical I was about letting a guy with braces go down on me
He's completely obsessed with his ex but gives phenomenal head. So overall, yeah, good first date.
what a classic moment of my life. A buffet of taco bell and a taser gun.
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