I would like to feed your fingertips to the wolverines.
His mom told be she once got turned down for playboy. 1 biggest mistake Hugh made. 2 is she hitting on me?
Having a pigeon watch you poop is just creepy. Drunk or not.
For some reason I have a hard time believing getting drunk and recreating a movie about singing transvestites is ever very far from a situation you're in.
Hey, it's Thrasher! From the hospital!
I just really need a hug and a shower beer
Its like a match made in avoid-eachother-because-we're-antisocial-and-awkward heaven
I just got my beard fondled by a drunk chick outside the venue. I feel slightly violated. And I think her boyfriend wanted to fight me.
My mom just found my nipple clamps...... oh God why....
So the day after the 4th I'm sitting here drinking Molson and watching NHL free agent frenzy. From patriotic American to drunken Canadian in 24 hours flat. Booyah.
SORRY FOR THE CAPS. I DIDNT CHANGE IT IN TIME AND ITS TOO FAR TO GO BACK NOW. PS IM SUPER BAKED
That was the night I realized I need to grow up and stop eating mushrooms with strange 40 year old men in convertibles.
I learned so much in Pittsburgh
Your ex roommate is making out w the kid who pees on floors and it's kinda funny
i stood outside in the bushes for thirty minutes. Do you know how many drunk guys pee in bushes at 2 am?
He's a fucking ninja- think of the things he can probably do with his dick.
Randomize
