you know your drunk when 7 soccer players cant catch up to a tranny in high heels who just stole your wallet
Her parents came home early, i had to hug her mom with a condom on...
any chance you can send me your legal ethics outline, in exchange for say, me buying you a lapdance the next time we go to the strip club?
There's limited edition cherry vanilla nyquil. It's like they know how much I hate myself and they're giving me a consolation prize.
I come back into the room and you're grinding with the person in the mascot suit.
How many beers are too many "cause it's Archer Thursday" beers?
ill give you food and tequilla and penis and joy
I just hit myself in the face while taking off my shirt. I could never be a stripper.
Today I'm playing this game called how physically long can I Lay in this one spot before moving, do you have an estimated time of departure?
I just noticed that pic of your cock has a Christmas tree in the background. It's July.
He has great taste in girls. I feel closer to my Eskimo sisters than my real sister...
I'm still home, my life isn't together. Currently drying my pants
You keep making the old jokes & I'm gonna come down with a sudden case of low-estrogen related vaginal dryness..
No instead we fucked in the elevator.. it was wrong on so many levels..
How tall was the building? Maybe it was only wrong on some of them
It's nice doing the walk of shame at 530 am, the birds are chirping, campus is empty, and it's dark so noone can see who the Fuck you are
Randomize
