i was just at lovers lane looking for gifts for a bachelorette party.....with my mom
some girl had on jean underwear. i hate america.
This can't be good. I've realized that I weigh less in the morning after I have had a blackout drunk night than when I work out and eat healthy.
Would it be cruel if i sold xanax instead of adderall to freshman unfamiliar to the drug-taking profession?
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she pulled the sheets over her head to blow me but the static kept making little lightning bolts and I was too high and got really scared she was going to electrocute me.
Just sneezed out a half gram of coke into a tissue. Four hours after the fact. The bender continues.
Come down. You're the next contestant on this bowl.
Still want to know how you got back last night? Two Campus Security Officers carried you in around 430. Your pants were around your ankles.
I hate Sailor Jerry.
How hard to you think I will be judged if I order 8 giant pickles from Jimmy Johns right now?
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Should I be scared that after we hooked up she took antibiotics with Sailor Jerry's?!
I've decided that it's a bad thing. But I've also decided that I don't give a fuck.
I biked home blackout drunk last night, but I have some memory of throwing my bike in a rage when I couldnt get it down the stairs. No idea on the bright orange puke in the sink.
My new dentist just kinda stared at me when I told him that I used to have partial dentures after breaking 2 teeth while beating the shit out of someone, until I puked them into the toilet and flushed them after getting high and making myself undercooked mac and cheese.
did anyone ever come to your door asking about the blood on the floor?
Change the sheets & put your dick in the dishwasher. I'll see you in an hour.
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