my weekend in 10 words or less: hot friend of a friend, open bar, beach house, sore. In that order too.
I took off my clothes and she wanted to have sex. But then she changed her mind. So we ended up fucking through her panties or something. I don't know it was weird.
Just so you know, I have a bf.
I guess as long as you bring single girls over and cook cannolis you will still be useful.
u know what's depressing? a picture of an owl without a graduation cap
You have to understand, this is the first time I'm looking at a whopper sober.
Those motion detector trash cans don't work fast enough to catch puke.
Brought 2 entire pizzas with to the bar, everyone loves us
I'm so covered in bruises. God dammit drunk me. We are a lady.
There's a 35% chance I'm still residually drunk from last night.
And you say you're not good with numbers...
The cop actually kicked the bitches out of the cab so we could get ours. I flipped them all off as the door was shutting. That drunk.
i seriously haven't spoken to him since i drunk dialed him and told him i loved his beard
Sorry i vommed in a cup next to u w out warning.. Actually im not that sorry cuz i didn't spill a drop LIKE A PRO
I just used Bacardi to dry out poison ivy.
I just had a random tinder dude give me a ride home from school because my car is dead. Tinder rules! It's like Uber, but with boys who want to impress you.
I have to sleep with him. We're too much alike. It's like clash of the titans, except instead of clashing, he's putting it in me.
Randomize
