She had hickeys... what's up with that?? HAHAHA
I totally have a Rabbi on speed dial now. Keep it Kosher.
She rubs her butt on the bed & then she growls..
we drunkly made out in the middle of the street beside the homeless guy playing the flute. Not how I imagined our first kiss.
WHYAREWHITEGUYSSOBADINBED?! What the fuck went wrong, evolution?
Got home last night and found a Big Mac in the shower, tampons all over the place, and two pairs of your panties on the front porch.
I will sleep with anyone I have to to make sure you don't get deported
If you go to Tinseltown tonight. First bathroom on the left, second stall. Avoid. It's still coming to terms with what I did to it.
We were basically fucking on the dance floor. People kept buying us drinks. It really only encouraged us.
Prerry sure I narrowly avoided being tazed by a swat cop last night... But on the up side, we found my purse.
Besides, I'm booked tomorrow. I'm planning on drinking heavily and crying in the bath.
somehow getting chased by a bulldozer was NOT on my to-do list for today. just saying
that is very illegal...i love you.
Im glad your laughing because im currently convincing my penis you didnt mean it and its all gunna be ok.
Granted, I did not plan to spend ANY hour of the last day of 2020 sober.
Randomize
