My cousins just decided to make a catapult to spread my Grandpa's cremated remains. I love my family.
i thought i was pinching her nipple. It was her mole
operation "beaches make me wet" is a go
Why didn't you tell me that Dad was a registered sex offender?
We were going to tell you eventually, how'd you find out?
Our school resource officer showed us how to use Family Watchdog and pulled up his picture.
I just took my friends on a tour of all the places I've had sex in my house. I dont know if that's more slutty, or the fact that it took 2 hours to complete..
I'll try not to. I have an appointment at the hospital tomorrow so my goal is to wake up there.
That was an excessively violent trivia night
We had car sex in the parking lot of the dispensery while he blasted Tony Bennett. It was so fucking romantic.
It was great. They teamed up to hit on these two frat boys all night, until the frat boys started making out with each other. The looks on their faces...
I will be going to walgreens soon.. nothing says trainwreck like pickin up a scrip for xanax at 2am drunk..
She just took a mirror selfie at the hospital while in labor.
She kept asking for cigarettes, than just put them in her purse as "savings"
Waking up in a NH rest stop and reading through my texts is definitely a familiar low
I'm sorry you're hurting. Would a picture or my erect penis help?
This is a friendly reminder to try not to shit on the toilet seat. If our 4 year old can manage it, I think you can too.
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