You were wearing a sombrero. And a crown. And told me to use the nerf gun to protect your room from the cat. You don't have a cat.
hooking up with chicks might be the way to go after all. walk of shame looks better in her clothes.
I kind of wish I was already fat. So I could eat all I want and not worry about getting fat. Cause I'd already be at that point.
Drunk. Just jacked off for the third time in an hour. I love not being Catholic anymore.
She apparently grabbed another girl and pulled her into the shower fully clothed. When the girl was like "you need to stop" she curled up into a ball and refused to leave.
Whoa, you know how to pick em.
New discovery: pineapple flavored vodka. Life made, liver in jeopardy. Graduation t-minus 50 minutes.
FYI: telling a guy his dick is more impressive than you remembered it - they don't take it as a compliment.
he was inside of, then got up said "we don't want you having a baby," grabbed his car keys and left. so now i'm just sitting on his bed, wondering if he's coming back.
Try not to get arrested for it, but otherwise i support you
He's CUTE. and foreign
I swear she looks like a sloth.... I'll toss a coin...
You forget how awesome toilet paper is until you have to wipe your ass with a piece of notebook paper...
I know that you sometimes make decisions based on comedic effect, but losing your virginity shouldn't be one of them.
I DIDN'T WATCH THE PILLSBURY DOUGH BOY PORN!!!!
Also: I hate her so much. She's out at hooters, making spelling errors, while I'm literally sitting at a clinic getting std tested. Which of us won the morality award in this break up.
God. Spice Girls is now grocery store demographic. Kill me.
Randomize
