apparently the secret to your success is patron
I am like the Mr. Miyagi of queefs.
You drew a self portrait of yourself on his wall with sharpie.
he was so high, he talked to my goldfish for an hour telling him the dangers of overfeeding.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she broke up with me using backstreet boy lyrics
you deserved it if you knew it was backstreet boys.
hes like my own personal sex toy i use him on the weekends and then i have the option to put him away all week
just found a bag of Oreos in my purse labeled "emergency".
Carpeing THE FUCK out of that diem
Well Apparently I went to piss out my window last night, woulda been ok if I opened the window or the blinds.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Its not chugging if its just one gulp
I knew things were bad when my gyno recommended meditation.
Fuck romance. Just shaved my nipples in the shower because I felt like it. That's the life I'm about.
I put on a tiger onsie to initiate sex... It worked
I woke up naked wrapped in a wolf blanket on the bathroom floor
...i have a beer in one hand, and a chicken wing in the same. typical tuesday, right?
Randomize