so he went down on me and i thought i heard him say "you're smelly" to my vagina
i got awkward and finally asked him what he said
he actually said "you want some dick?" to my vagina. which is worse? either way he's talking to it
You also had the stripper slap the shit out of me for not having any money....remember that?
It's 8 am and he's already trying to get me to make out with a girl.
This gyro tastes like lonliness
Like that time I held Annie up and she peed all over the window.. We make a good team.
But youre all cute and shit. Woo that cunt. And by cunt i mean strong independent woman
Don't smoke out front when you get home there's gasoline involved I'll tell you later
like stop just cause your whole life has been one enormous reject pile does not mean that i have to suffer too
I'm at the nutcracker high as shit. It's so beautiful. I cried.
I'm very aware of my heart moving the blood in my body.
He was going down on me and all I could think about was how proud of me you'd be
I just ate a handful of salt
I thought this was a good idea
It's 90 percent alcohol, and 10 percent a whisper that says "get drunk"
we watched a guy take a shot of tequila while riding a unicycle
So many people have told me I have great tits tonight, I'm unstoppable
Randomize
