how about we just leave your boyfriend out of this
i was like. eff you dude i'm 100% american. i went to a high school prom and i like springstein songs and i take rides in chevrolets.
I told him to show me what he was made of and he came on my face. law students are so technical.
We're celebrating his weight gain and arrest.and by we I mean I, and by celebrating I mean getting dangerously drunk
U know that drunk state, where at 930 the next morning your sitting in a bath in ur bathing suit trying to sober up...yeah. That's where i am..
ask me again when I'm sobewr aka tuesday
It got heated then she just left and I was all alone in the women's restroom.
classified somewhere between kinky and medically inadvisable
I have more sex toys than shoes - HOW AM I SINGLE?!?!?
Grab some lube and condoms and you get a free shirt? College is weird
I'm torn between wanting to wear lipstick and wanting to make out with strangers.
Just once I'd like to go out and not have to tell you to put your pants back on.
lol hangovers are for mortals.
There should be a guide book that probation officers hand out on "how to tell a tinder girl about your ankle monitor before she notices it at the worst possible moment"
I guess I called her at 2am, demanding that she bring us food. She told us to order pizza, and I yelled "DON'T MENTION PIZZA!" I recall nothing.
Randomize
