I'm like a rollypolly, I only open my legs up when I feel safe.
ohhhh fuckk. chicks a dude.
I just washed champagne and tuna off my body. I feel like that was a successful shower.
Law school is ruining my masturbation schedule.
Using his name makes it all too personal. I refuse to get attached to this one. This is all about ass. He doesn't get a name.
he has the hands of the vagina gods.
who has not yet felt my sugrcially enhanced boobs. HurryI am at the bnar and it is 1:15 am
If I EVER wake up with two black eyes again you better come up with a better story than trying to see how many punches I could take.
Peeing off the roof of a motel lighting a cigar with matches and speaking fluent spanish with a chilen exchange student...how do iget into these situations?
You need to let him know my only agenda is coke and sadness.
I'm so high. Midnight pancake breakfast in bed
Walking my dog and eating a taco in last night's dress.. Classy
And he's back on taking these stupid testosterone supplements to kickstart him back into working out. And they just make him angry and horny all the time. I'm like great, just in time to meet my whole family for Christmas.
I feel like a dancer trapped in the body of a math instructor. Love, Mom
I'm drinking because I just started here and every single person I work with wants to quit and when I asked a coworker how she's doing she literally just started crying.
Randomize
