I feel like your standards for women is like rent-a-centers standards for credit.
I'm glad you talked me out of that flying penis tattoo.
I'm thinking of having one or both of my boobs out. They're small but they're mighty.
It was all fun and games until Tim shit on the end table
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude stop singing. Your life is not an episode of fucking glee
i just got offered coke by a strung out pilot. my night just got a lot more interesting.
think i got pink eye from a stripper in vegas. showgirls did not prepare me adequately for this. be kind, 2010.
Isiahs hammered. And just came in to get his skateboard and said he has to prove something. This can't end well
we were hooking up and then he goes "you can touch my penis" and i laughed too hard to do anything. no second date.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ok in all seriousness. Alcohol intake is now restricted for me. I found handcuffs in my trunk.
Neat. I'm thinking about growing a handlebar muffstache. What are your thoughts on this?
You should hear the lecture my mom just gave me about cooking pizzas when im drunk because "I could have died".
It's not even close to Halloween but there is a girl in a nurses outfit. Twerk or twat.
gay sex achievement: unlocked
what
you told me you were going out for groceries!!
I've seriously never been more thankful for marijuana and my resting bitchface.
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