U r making out with a 12 year old get ur shit together
I like how she turned her beer into a wet t-shirt contest
so my phone autocorrects 'retard' to 'retaaahd'. i LOVE being a masshole!
Remind them to make the "above the influence" commercial about us fallin off a ferris wheel
Mid thrust he tells me that we have bio together
if you were to get worldwide popularity from playing guitar with a plastic yellow bat while drunk on YouTube, would you hate me?
I'll make a Jello mold of your face so everyone can get drunk off your face
That reminds me of that one time you handcuffed me to a table leg while I was reaching for the vodka.
Believe me. As soon as the boss man is out the door. I am on my way to wow your vagina with my horse-like attributes.
I just explained it as we hate everyone in the world more then we hate each other. Thus making us friends. Plus we drink...a lot
I think drinking is the foundation of our friendship
THERE IS A GOAT THERE IS A GOAT IN MY BED IT IS EATING MY THONG WHAT DID YOU DO
It gives me purpose in life to help fulfill nerdy fantasies. Like I'm doing something good for mankind and having multiple orgasms in the process.
Beer, water, beer, water, beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer so much beer
I'm making a date with someone on Playstation Home. That's how my sex life is going right now.
What's a nice way of saying 'I wish I hadn't fucked you.'
Randomize
