I just found 'pokemon orgy' in my search history
sometimes i wonder what i would do without sheltered catholic girls w/ overprotective parents
never have sex?
I love how you are more concerned with what i call my penis than the fact i wanna bone some high school chicks
You were shirtless with a cowboy hat in 15 degree weather then u shotgunned a can of mixed vegetable Progresso soup
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My mouth holds just enough water for my bong
My dry heaving is complicating my ability to speak.
I almost stepped in a homeless mans stream of urine as he was peeing. I love this city.
did i send you the picture of me smiling with the magnum wrapper?
There's a dead squirrel in the freezer. Is that what you stopped to get out of the road last night?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I asked my boss to leave early for a booty call. She said yes. See.... everyone sees it's important I get laid.
Is it weird that the cop that arrested me called me twice to tell me that I left my ring at the police station
Just used the handle end of a spatula to get the baggie of coke wedged between my passenger seat. Innovation points?
Do the right thing and go fuck yourself off a cliff
I think you might be the first man ever to describe getting a blowjob as "neat"
We hooked up and he sent me home with a plant and skittles lmao
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