mondays should just be called national damage control day
there's nothing like that first "just failed out of my program" beer
If I had known I was gonna take my tights off and throw them over the balcony I would have shaved my legs.
yea im pretty sure it has something do with my love of forearms...
i jsut waqnnna hugg thw crap outa sokme peoplee
He smashed a plastic chair leg on a tree stump, threw himself into the side of our metal enclosure, stomped on the wreckage for a bit and then punched the fire.
they were having sex on the toilet apparently and everytime someone knocked they flushed. it was like an auditory scoreboard of sex duration.
Just served breakfast to a bunch of hella drunk kids. They kidnapped the birthday boy for his 21st and he was wearing a disney onesy and bunny ears. They've been drinking since before dawn, why don't we have friends like that?
i had a threesome. one of the guys used to bully me in high school too for being gay.
I asked her politely not to touch my dick
HI MARY. THERE IS A RAINBOW AT OUR APARTMENT
I don't want a baby! I JUST WANT AN ORGASM THAT ISN'T SELF INFLICTED.
I know. His dick was small at the top and got bigger at the bottom, like a fucking curling wand.
I am luring the porn star to my house with chicken!
who gets drunk at chipotle by noon and then gets kicked out? this chick.
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