i wonder if she has dreads down there too...
considering you've had every STD known to man, you think if i sent you a picture of my dick (no homo) you could tell me whats growing on it?
He just screamed at her, "if you pass out i am still having sex with you!!!" In front of the entire party.
You wanted to speak to the manager of mcdonalds as to why a "bag of cheeseburgers" isn't a menu option.
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Never thought I'd say this but I just want to go home, ice my balls, and pop a Vicodin.
So I think I might just embrace the awkwardness and say he fingerblasted her cause thats the greatest word in existence
We don't really communicate like that.
Communicate like what?
Communicate like people who want to see each other when their genitals are inside their pants.
We got buck wild in our animal onesies last night. You kept ripping off your tail in angry rages.
Shit my boyfriend's roommate thinks thinks: I love getting woken up to the sound of my roommate getting a blowjob
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It's Saturday night and I'm getting shitfaced alone while reading Dino porn. Wassssuuuupppp
I'm putting his belongings the garage sale so he can buy his own stuff back. # divorced life. Thanks for cheating on me you tone deaf dick biscuit that'll be $20. Haha.
Omg my brain. Most recent thought: I fucking prayed in the bathroom that the other girl would leave. Prayed to Jesus
Just discovered I was so fucked up last night I called in sick to work... TWICE
Went upstairs to make PopTarts, found the door open. Shut it. Saw a grey thing. Opened the door, found a girl sleeping outside. What the fuck happened last nigh
So on a scale of 1-10 how mad would you be if I sent you a picture from the inside of a strip club
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