Straightened my pubes. My dick looks like John Lennon fucked Gonzo.
someone should tell her that easter eggs aren't meant to be dildos.
Haha. We better find him. He looked like he came out of Switzerland's vagina, he's that much of a blonde beauty.
Oh nbd. She just had sex with a divorcee. On a charter bus. At 10 a.m. On a Thursday.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You'd think somebody who rolls blunts like jesus himself could roll a god damn burrito
I learned something last night. Strippers can be on house arrest?
I can officially say I had a blunt rolled on my ass
He showed up at my house, drunk, proclaiming that he needed to fuck me...my dad let him in
with great strapon comes great responsibility.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've peed outside too many times in just this past week
My drug dealer bought me a book for Christmas. What a gentleman.
Like did I tell you about the ex Amish guy? Because that was a mess
Hey, if a dude can't randomly belt out Whitney Houston tunes from time to time, is life really worth living??
she walked up to me at the bar, kissed me, andthen declared "I HAVEN'T SEEN YOU OR YOUR PENIS SINCE 2011."
So... he's my second cousin's step-bro... To do or not to do?
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