hitting rock bottom=girl fakes converting to christianity in order to get out of having sex with you.
dont ever smoke after you drink again... i dont think ive ever seen...or heard of someone throwing up and farting at the same time. that is, if you were farting.
Skipped a towel and decided to spit the cum into his face. I now owe him new contacts.
He booked his flight from Dallas already, no ticket to the game, said hes gonna bang some girl at tailgait to get a ticket, I had to explain that it will be sub 20 degrees F during tailgate, he decided to come in july instead, Texans are dumb.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm scared. I feel like she's my mom and she just walked in on me having sex. Like she's "disappointed"
I woke up to blood crusted on my face. I don't understand
team rage. no explanation necessary
Did you blow the guy you weren't supposed to hook up with again in the bathroom of pita pit? Cause that happened last night...
I'm imaging you naked, covered in butter. And I gotta say, I'm not impressed.
Ok cuz s'mores night just turned into pina colada after noon and it will be mas fun
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Steve, that episode of cops where your dealer rear-ended that family is on again.
I need to find a more reliable booty-call so I can start dating people and take it slow.
My boobs look fucktastic, I have a booty call on Sunday and a dick photo on my phone. Life is grand!
So your telling me I can lick your ass but you CAN'T spend my money
Hahah I’ve never had someone stop me mid-coitus to tell me how amazing I am. Def ego boost.
Mandatory face masks - finally, a solution for lip augmentation failures and bad breath.
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