We had to be out of the dorms at 730. Meeting started at 8. I woke up at 948. Drunk and covered in glitter.
Dude, no matter how drunk you are, it's not okay to hug every other guy at a strip club. Mainly because boners are far too common.
He asked for his proof of insurance and he pulled out a Magnum by mistake. All of the sudden gignger was looking real good to me.
Apparently I did my philosophy paper last night. It's not bad either.
I think i found piece of your tooth in my dick this morning when i took a shower
He fucked my earring out of my ear. Of course he's coming over again.
how many americans can say they have been laid before eating their first big mac?
Also, the drinking age in Japan is 20. At what point in the sky am I allowed to start downing alcohol?
Now that there's no chance of him coming over to fuck anymore, I'm going to put up a one-person tent in my bedroom and live in it. My bed reminds me of him.
i ordered a pipe on amazon, and under recommended items, it gave me a top hat. it knows me better than my parents.
todays sighting is titled: Bum taking pictures with an invisible camera.
Stop trying to get a gf and raw dog some forest beasts like sasquatch
Hahaha I can already see the arrest warrants. It's gonna be beautiful. I'll get them framed.
Yesterday I went home with one shoe, today I go home with three. Fucking win.
Dude i woke up today by a pile of fried chicken and wearing a bra
.......stop going to frat parties....
Randomize
