There was a fist fight in my basement last night at four in the morning, in case you were wondering
I had a dream once that juice was flowing out of my kitchen faucet
I can totally hide my daquiri in my sling.
His internet history had "Disney Porn" on it.
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we made malted milkshakes. malt as in malt liqour.
She better not be too drunk to operate a blowtorch
and his room smelled like strippers, childrens tears, and fear
So I realized I'm not completely sober when the automatic toilet flushed and I screamed
My only regret is that I have but one penis to give to your vagina.
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I cannot tell if the couch is cold or I spilled beer. THAT kind of night.
Hahah fuck. I keep looking to make sure that stupid line doesn't show up when my guards are down. Babies can sense fear.
I am significantly less than sober now. Gonna make like, ten hotdogs.
Mehhh. I just tried to type 'extremely', and it auto corrected to 'creek rot'. IT KNOWS WHAT I LOOK LIKE
Hypothetical question: Would it be wrong to tell the annoying children who don't listen to their parents that the motel is haunted?
OH GOD IT TASTES LIKE IT SMELLS
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