have fun at tinkers! p.s. are there any hot guys who look like they wanna wait until marriage to have sex?
Yeah no shit. My mom is giving me winecoolers as we watch a show abt alcoholics
I sharted during my first quiz and I couldn't leave, I went ahead and took the rest of the day off.
And if you don't call me, I will embarrass you publicly with a can of spray cheez.
is it sad that whenever i need to spell "independent" i still sing that one rap song?
I had a dream last night, there was a gumball machine that was filled with Oxycontin. I would try to get some but got vitamins instead. I was so frustrated!! woke up angry.
They upped the price of Plan B! Rite-aid is going to be the reason I have illegitimate kids.
Easy for you to say! His first impression of you isn't the drunk girl in a turtle costume who got hit by a car!
First I must say that I am disappointed to learn that you knowingly have trashy friends with whom you've not hooked me up.
she has an amazing ass but I need more beers to get past her horse face. It works out perfect becauseI can use her teeth as a bottle opener.
I barely remember the girls that I got pregnant, you think I'm gunna remember the ones that played handball
Weirdest sensation ever: having your penis fall asleep. It was like tiny hulk hogan was choking it out
The shit I just took was my body's way of telling me bourbon and mixed nuts aren't an appropriate dinner. Well played, colon. WELL. PLAYED.
My mom is currently drinking alone in our kitchen singing the Dixie Chicks to herself so, hey, alcohol is forever and we should not be shamed for its use.
I’ve got a sex swing and lube, he’s not going anywhere soon
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