She came over with Guinness cupcakes, a case of Mickeys, wearing an Ireland flag & nothing else.
If someone would have told me in preschool that I was going to do him I would have said no
There was a reason that "Throat Warrior 2011" was written on my martini glass. He said my title was undisputed.
He ran five blocks just to watch me and my best friend make out. I think he's a keeper.
She sent me a map and directions for a booty call. In a park. Give me reason not to marry her.
This is my first time seeing you since your lesbian experience. SO EXCITED!
He was sucking my nipples then stopped, looked me dead in the eyes and said "im gonna cum for my babygirl"
His hair looked like he was in a bukaki and then got a perm right after
Sorry about the weird guinea pigs text. I was drunk and they were freaking me out
Everyone keeps telling me I look so healthy and happy today: the power of the penis people!!
Tbh I fell asleep cuddling a bag of Brazilian nuts. Franzia never dissappoints me
I literally cut myself out of my pants. What is my life.
No, you are in the clear. The police officer finally just said "I give up" and walked away.
THERE'S MORE TO LIFE THAN JUST MISSIONARY
What? I'll do just about anything if you give me a sticker.
Randomize
