IM NOT LETTING YOU PEE ON ME IF THATS WHAT YOURE GETTING AT.
I think the boy in my gender studies class cried when 90% of the girls said they had faked an orgasm
I may do that, fyi I'm even more sore than I was yesterday. It's like the ghost of your dick is still inside me.
please dont let the old guy in the wheelchair see you when you wake up
How do you say "I'm sorry I beat you up while cumming" in German?
WE'RE FINALLY ADMITTING THAT WE DESPERATELY WANT TO SCREW EACH OTHER. THIS IS WHAT PROGRESS FEELS
He insisted he brought his alarm clock everywhere, and then the girl screamed "fuck French people!"
The night before doing drugs with your bro is like Christmas Eve that made love to thanksgiving that made love a virgin.
Well don't pass out under a Swedish flag and people won't make assumptions
Something tells me your "Titties for Tracy Morgan" fundraiser won't pan out.
I never thought that at some point in my life I would end up in the back of a cop car dressed as Pumba #HakunaMatata
My aunt asked how many piercings I had and my mom said seven and I said nine and that's how my family found out I had my nipples pierced.
So... Sex in my rain boots last night. Trashy or a great show of character?
If it was with a guy, trashy. Sex with a girl is never trashy.
You left me a really long voicemail saying, "Hey, it's meeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee." and then the rest is just loud laughter
i came so much i feel like i were to try again, only dust would come out. and maybe glitter
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