doug butabi!
steve butabi!
hotties wanna shake it
why does he think he needs to feed/take me out to get some ass? we are at a bar wasting my fucking time
oh fat girl friday strikes again...
Pizza is the life boat of my drunk Titanic
I'm in the laundromat a drunk armenian guy keeps trying to help me fold my laundry. Ah i'm going to miss queens.
while being fingered today, I was told I have an abnormally deep g-spot. Now you know, I am a size queen because of SCIENCE.
She just started grabbing all the hospital's rubber gloves and face masks and shoving them in her purse, saying, "My tax money paid for these!"
I kind of learned that hotels are unnecessary. Boys will just take you home, but that's tough with a group. I believe in us, though.
Wait. You NEVER used a Dizzy Doodler pen as a vibrator?!?
Then when he got home he face timed me and showed me his balls
yeah she's crazy. she fought a possum in my alley because it was "being a cagey little cunt"
Also this time, I didn't have a random creepy guy come up from behind me, grab my junk, and whisper "where's the cocaine?" in my ear. So that's also a win.
just the thought of you slurpin down noodles really rustles my jimmy
you suck at sexting
As much as I want you to bang someone other than me, he is an asshole.
One of my pillows is missing but it's cool because there is a beef stick.
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