Drank beer out of a hotwheels bucket all night
he saw my emergency pass-out-in-the-bathroom-after-drunken-puking cot in the bathroom.
They just yellow carded someone for spilling a drink because it was a party foul. Love germans.
I woke up with a new Tiffanys necklace on. I'm such a classy drunk.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
When she was giving me head last night it felt like there was a NASCAR pit crew working on my dick.
Couple in the hotel room next to me keep fucking. When I hear her get close I call the room wait for them to stop and hang up. If I'm not getting any tonight then no one should.
no i do not regret standing at the wendys drive thu handing the employees mardi gra beads to get free chicken nuggets
Vodka @ 9pm. Library. Nothing can go wrong, I promise.
Some guy is walking around the bar with his dick out. Health code violation?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Finishing last nights 1.5L of wine and beef jerky for breakfast. Work looms, ever the prickly bitch.
I'm really hot. went tanning and this cheeseburger shirt like isn't breathable
On a separate note, I just found out some condoms aren't vegan. Problem.
Hahahaha I can't wait for you to ask "wait. are there any animal by products in that?"
Even blacked out me knows not to sleep with socks on
please tell dad to clear the porn off his tablet before he lends it to anyone from now on
I'm legitimately the first person in the United States to successfully shave their balls with a Razer Blade of a sword and fully admitt it. I'm honestly smoother then a 10 year old.
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