so then she threw up in his asshole
yep..that'll do it.
Marriage: a sacred union between one man and one woman, and another woman in Argentina.
At a bar where three women in denim shorts are debating techniques and skillsets for wrangling goats. You stay classy Delaware.
sleeping like a two year old who chased ambien with a bottle of whiskey.
Charles is a playa. And I don't mean the spanish word for beach.
I just got a standing ovation when i made it to work on New Years Day. good thing?
Man, the last time I saw you you were giving me a thumbs up while being pulled out the bar by your belt from some girl.
Oh and fyi, I've been drinking and about to do free weights. I'll late you know how this goes.
So....maintenance found the bullethole.....
Happy heartbreak day....you got chocolates, I'm eating them/ throwing them out the window at passing couples
because i know somewhere at some party, behind someones closed bed room door youre being feed a key full of mollie.
So they found him after the wedding still dressed up in his feather boa and top hat passed out in a bush...
Turns out the dorm toilet can't take a punch. Gonna be a long year without Mexican food.
Swiping left on your brother's Tinder account is possibly the worst way to learn he broke up with his girlfriend.
We're on our way. We couldn't find our clothes this morning, so we're driving your car half naked. You owe me a cigarette.
Randomize
