You want to go to a white party at LAX
Clubs are lame especially themed ones. Im not in a fucking episode of laguna beach
What are you doing?
High. Watching Billy Mays infomercials...
That guy could sell me cancer.
I added "don't hook up with boys with girlfriends" to my new years resolution and realized how sad it was that it made me actually feel like a better person
Oh, and my friends believe you should reimburse me for the brazilian that was gone to waste.
You just kept yelling, "THAT'S THE POWER OF PINESOL, BABY!"
I'm having a staring contest with a raccoon.
Where the hell are you
He's winning.
I'm glad you have such faith in my ability to find the worst situations with my vagina.
He is stood at the top of the stairs nursing the stolen cat
you got coffee,laid,and a sandwich. that never happens when I work
Naked snow angels was a very bad idea. My vag is now frozen shut.
I don't want to sleep with anyone. I just want a burrito
Omg. I meet up with you guys with bodily fluids on my chin ONE time and suddenly I'm a whore.
You were only speaking with either thumbs up, thumbs down, or high fives haha
sometimes i like to lay one the floor and pretend im a carrot.
They say you need two forms of ID, but in reality 1 nice set of tits works every time
Randomize
