wtf someone played my fucking brickbreaker games and lost i had ten fucking lives. ughhh
maybe you did when you were drunk
no way, i wasn't THAT drunk.
I just met a guy from Australia at the bar. I asked him what it was like down under and he told me if I went home with him he'd let me find out. I love Australians.
i called him pencil dick in front of over half of his fraternity brothers...
...never gotten so many high fives in my life! fuck ya i win!
she both took care of me and took advantage of me. it was BEAUTIFUL.
I mean, we started to hook up but my asthma attack kind of killed the mood
It's one of the many facets of my drunken alter egos. I'm like substance abuse batman.
So, I found out he was eating a jolly rancher while eating me out.. Hence the yeast infection.
...But it's not like we would be the first people to pay for an abortion with student loans and cell phone rebates.
Too lazy to make dinner. Had chocolate and scotch instead. Check in with me in a half hour.
you should be awarded for your promiscuity.
i really should.
woke up in the back seat of my car with a naked chick and my brother tapping on the window. yup, what a night
After walking ten blocks barefoot in Boston I've concluded drunk me needs to make better decisions.
So now I have had sex with 2 people my son graduated high school with.
My mom has tinder, she is 45 and has her age setting at 18-29. And she still gets more matches than me
Just saw you run by my class yelling "fuck you!". Good luck and stay human!
Randomize
