ive never been so in love with another man before, in a totally none sexual way... no homo
I'm in a cab, in a strange city, and my driver looks like he's going to eat me. My facebook password is **** I want you to have the one thing I hold dearest to my heart.
If only Ben were 51% gay instead of 49%
apparently vodka and oj turns green when you throw it up
basic color theory
Using pokemon references during sexual acts is always a good idea.
I know, but I was really high and I felt like a failure dragon because I could only blow smoke, no fire.
He's blaming gravity for his problems right now, so put that in perspective
Listen. I don't care if its "nontoxic" im not putting it in my fucking vagina.
his face was nice enough, but his choice of footwear screamed columbian drug lord
He walked away from the girl that just blew him to hook up with another girl, and when she got pissed he just turned around and screamed, "SHE IS LIKE 10X HOTTER THAN YOU!" Then she went on an angry dick sucking rampage. There were 4 victims.
This is how baked we were last night. Our drinking game: We stare at each other; first one to laugh drinks.
I no longer exist. I have transformed into a puddle of sex.
Oh yeah, you are a real peach except for shitting uncontrollably and bleeding out of your face.
So help me God.... if he sends me a dick pic.... I will make it so he has to eat food through a tube in his nose and poop into a bag by his belly button
this bedazzled flask is my best investment yet
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