sorry i'm running a bit late. had to shave my brittney...was looking more like rapunzel. clearly i've been having a drought.
What the hell am I supposed to do with 50 gallons of mayo?
MCAT status: Day 64, no longer can remember what sex is like.
facebook friend requested him the morning after while he was still asleep in my bed, a whole new level of creeper even for me
I almost got away with it until she smelled beer on the stroller.
I left boob prints on the hood of his car. Something to remember me by.
all i know is that i listed him in my phone as 'vagina cookies.' that can only be a good thing.
If graduating leads me to stop getting naked at inappropriate times in public places I'm going to be pissed
Somehow my drug dealer is stuck in my air-vent and now everything smells like patchouli, weed, deoderant and sweat.
didn't prepare for this snow storm at all. i only have like 6 beer and all my booty calls already went home for the holiday. this is bull.
He uses Bing as his search engine...but he's great in bed. So obviously I'm torn.
Were you seriously humming twinkle twinkle little star while cupping my balls?
Well just give me the address, I'll bring the bourbon. If they let that into mental institutions
come pick your gf up from my house. she's sitting in the fridge and hissing at the cat to let her eat the potatoes. btw i dont have a cat
This town reeks of teen pregnancy.
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