I boned her and wore a Freddy mask once. It was pretty lol
I plan on using my big titties for evil tonight.
this girl walked outta his room as i was walkin in to scottys and i just say " time for the walk of shame baby! whoooo!". she ran away
Three questions. How does a tomato drive a car, how does an asparagus play a guitar, and how am I still so high that I chose to watch Veggie Tales?
Gross thing of the day...i got cum in my new boots
Riding on an electric horse at the grocery store... dunno how that conversation went but I hope you picked up a 12 pack.
Uh oh. Middle aged belly dancers. And they just got out swords. Shit is about to get real.
wait, how does the 20 year old one night stand pregnant girl have a superiority complex?
Most of the bar is playing trivia I'm playing destroy a relationship in twenty questions
Bonding with my year old cousin over the fact that we both shit ourselves. Babysitting like a bosss
Yeah man it sucked balls. People on the bus probably thought I was fucking crazy. I was fetal position, taking up two seats with no shame whilst simultaneously panting.
How did you interpret 'wheat thins' from 'vaginal trauma'?
I got so tired of my roommates fucking in the tub I took a shit in it. Surprise!
If only he'd realize the fondness I have for his genitals.
she bought my drinks all night, made me breakfast in the morning, and let me use her expensive hair products before i left. best one night stand ever.
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