try this...when you orgasm scream his address including city state and zip...
At barnes & noble, drinking beer out of thermoses, lookin legit.
He kept saying 'your mouth is Amazing' even after I was on his dick.
I started drinking at around 8.. Started heavily drinking around 815.
I'm buying you potatoes, the least you could do is not ask any fucking questions and just say thank you.
I feel like that needs to be the last time i end a text with "fuck them i love tequila".
I may or may not have shit out a layer of my liver after that weekend.
Just to update you. I am dead. So your probably gonna have to find a new roommate
I'll always remember you bringing me that pregnancy test in the middle of an ice storm. Best friend ever.
Also, in the middle of me riding him, he said "I want you to dance on my dick" like I was supposed to know what that means
No more morning sex. Just for once, my vagina would like to go to work bone-dry and bone-free.
No, supporting your unemployed boyfriend IS NOT what credit cards are for.
I'm currently deliberating if I'm going to be too drunk on New Years to handle wearing false eyelashes.
OH GOOD GOD THE BUFFALO WING SAUCE IS BURNING MY FUCKING CUNT. WHY THE FUCK DID I AGREE TO SPICY AND NOT MILD
are you the reason the first floor girls' bathroom smells like weed?
Randomize
