i celebrated the independence of our country by dry heaving tequila all morning. so classy. happy 4th.
Dude..TWLOHA day. gonna write LOVE on my arms before going to the bar tonight. its like a pussy guarantee.
There's a difference between southern and inbred. She just doesn't know that yet.
just spent the last 4 hours covering his room in sticky notes. Viva Drunk Thursdays.
Just ate a whole pizza by myself. Wearing my indian headdress again. its really cool with the french braids. I look like fucking pocahontas or some shit.
I heard an explosion in the backyard. You told me you were playing "will it burn".
official rule: if your drunk, it doesn't count
then nothing in my life counts
I feel like telling him your vigina was older than him was not a good pick up line.
It's that time of night again when I start to think I'm really funny, but no one else is as drunk as I am so they all start avoiding me.
Why must everything this weekend have to do with something going into or coming out of my vagina?
He hasn't texted me back since last week when we sexted. I think telling him I wanted to choke him with chains was a bit much for our first time.
Sex is always the answer.
Especially if the question is: what have I not had this year?
Apparently today is power bottom appreciation day
He said he would get me a helmet and bedazzle it with my name and address so the cabs would know where to take me
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