Hot guy, man whore rep, huge crush, alcohol that will fuck you up. I fail to see how this could go wrong
i had the deer in headlights look when she walked in and i was digging in her hamper
I had to use the resin knife to take the staples out of my tax return forms. Tax returns and a search warrant?
im gonna put my furry chinchilla vagina on her mother effing nose
I just met his wife...she told me they have been having marriage problems and are spending his paychecks on marriage counseling...then she cried on my shoulder...NOW i feel like a bitch.
What's the protocol on showing a video of me sucking the life out of my ex in order to prove beyond a doubt that I give great head???
Just saw out breathalyzer tubes from last night on the side of the road. Glad the cop let us know that they are biodegradable
Umm, ya, half our class is sitting in starbucks passing around flasks. Yes, flasks. Plural. Going to join them, we're all giving oral presentations in 20. Go hard or go home.
Let's play, "guess how long my Neighbours have been watching me dance naked".
He really thought ahead and just left the tequila in the mail box for late night pickup. Best. Friend. Ever.
They shoved things up my nose I feel violated
I just got back to our room ....neither of us spent the night there but both our beds are occupied. send help.
Oh and no more ball pics to my family. Got in a little trouble over that. They have no sense of humor.
We're super invested in me shitting to my full potential
should we try and roll a cross joint since its good friday? you know, for jesus
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