So... how did lowering your standards work out last night?
You were running around the house with a purple crayon asking people to call you harold..
Whatever, you were 10 deep and there was a hot tub. No judgment.
you googled "nude photos of celebrities you wouldn't expect to have nude photos", puked into the beer bong, and then laughed
That taco smell coming from your belly button was a huge turnoff
Remeber when I drunkenly made out with him this summer while he was getting bitched at by his girlfriend on the phone? Yeah, neither do I. But I'm pretty sure that same thing happened again last night.
It's like that depressing moment when you drop your cocaine in the snow.
WHY DOES HE HAVE TO CALL WHEN I'M MASTURBATING?! This time I'm really pissed. It's like he knows he's depriving me of orgasms.
I thought it was pretty weird, but after the marinating loins thing, i figured i'd roll with it.
I'm more of a "get high and take a bath" kinda guy.
Finally hooked up with her. She bought me tacos after because "she can do better in a bed". You're gonna be my best man.
Oh man I wish I could've gotten a picture of how many anti-circumcision stickers are on this Prius
I'm somewhere between crying and wanting to orgasm.
I also woke up in a bed soaked of pee and drunkenly lectured him on the dangers of chewing tobacco... weird night
and i walked downstairs to find my brother using nunchucks, and making the appropriate noises. i simply asked "why"; his reply? "why the fuck do you think?". i love my family.
Randomize
