I got everything I ever gave her back, every picture, and money for the dog. I didn't want it she brought it all back and gave it to me. clothes jackets, pictures, dried flowers, ear rings, necklace...
Sell it on ebay and let's go to the bar
i have the juiciest gold medal in my pants
Need sex. Gaining weight.
it's a well known fact that sluts are attracted to bright colors
american apparel?
try lime green
i was in the bathroom puking my brains out, a girl walked in and said "i just came to do the same thing" so i told her i would move over and share the toilet. its better than being alone.
I want to say that being forced to stare at the 'no.1 boyfriend' collage behind his head ruined the sex but it just didn't.
Definitely just said "no homo" to our gay waiter at Cheesecake Factory...our service has steadily declined since.
One of two things would happen: He'd love it, or you'd get a restraining order.
Watching porn with a bag of marshmallows. Thats when you know you're stoned.
Say what you want, but those Fraggle Rock DVDs have gotten me laid twice.
Please high five our old drug dealer for me please.
im just going to make a prayer circle of top ramen packets and cheap beer
It's 11:50 on Friday the 13th. There's a full moon. AND the bride to be just puked on herself while getting a lap dance from a stripper named...wait for it....LUCKY. Is this real life?
I haven't answered because I haven't figured out a polite way of saying fuck no
By the way, you're like fucking spiderman. I've never seen someone climb out of a car window that fast and eloquently.
Randomize
