just saw a prosititute with a baby stroller...question is...if the baby wakes up is the blow job free?
TAKE DOWN THAT PHOTO OF ME IN THE NURSES COSTUME NOW.
Last night after we fucked, I washed my vag in vodka so I wouldn't get an STD
Or, you could have used a condom
I need a secretary to manage my drinking schedule.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just want a box on franzia all to myself. Just me, my wine, my tears, & my self loathing.
This titty bar has wifi. I just did FaceTime stage side
Just been one of those weeks where alcohol out weighs friendship
I mean how do you tell a nurse in the ER that you dislocated your knee giving a blowjob to your boyfriend.
Very innocently.
I honestly don't know if ill make it through the next two hours. The hangover is strong with this one.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i don't know what part of 'duct tape bikini waxes' seemed even a little okay in our drunk minds, but i'm never drinking with your sister again
I'm so high that hamburger just went up my nose. Mustard BURNS
We had sex in his hot tub. Then we saved a mouse that almost drown in his pool. We celebrated our heroism with more sex.
I told him I wish we were at my house cause then I could tell him to get out after we had sex.
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like picking cocaine boogers out of your nose at your parents house.
Dude \nSo embarrassed \nJust sent a snap to my boss john and noticed my vibrator was right beside me
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