i love that when i tell my kids and grandkids about how we first met it will be about this little thing called a "poke" on facebook
All i learned in high school was how to sell drugs
If you can't do the LSAT hung over. You can't do the LSAT. That's the real practice.
Dude... Hand job in the lake... It was as weird as it sounds.
What do you think it is?
It's a boy. I know it. She always manages to have a cock inside her somehow.
i don't think they understood the house was collapsing. they kept dancing and jumping and asking for more cups.
Doing Jager Bombs on a Sunday morning is justified...How else is my team going to win?
GUESS WHO GOT ABSOLUTELY WASTED LAST NIGHT AND SPENT AN HOUR RAMBLING ABOUT KRAFT DINNER, HOCKEY, AND THE LAST TEMPTATION OF CHRIST
Can you pick up from work today? There's a surprise for you on the bed and I haven't gone blind which is positive.
The guy next to me just said he wont play beer pong on principle. Im scared.
do you ever feel so high you're swimming backstroke and then you realize you're still laying in bed on tumblr
I love how you sexted me before you told me happy birthday. Thank you.
I just sent a snapchat of my boobs for Adderall. It's finals season.
Have fun in Vegas! Be safe, use condoms, and take a pic of Jon beforehand to give out when he goes missing. It will help the police.
the fact that I always have. bottle of tequila in my purse is not helping my current sitch
Randomize
