I just sold weed to a guy holding a baby...does this make me a bad person?
What the hell do I have to do to get some foreplay around here? This sucks.
I think you know the answer.
How can I marinade myself in Vodka?
Finally jerked of with a banana peel.
I hope no one judges me for becoming a facebook fan of "Adderall" at 5:49 AM...
i jsut waqnnna hugg thw crap outa sokme peoplee
I just had to dig under a pile of condoms in my desk drawer to get to a blue book. Summer is officially over.
As I fucked him you stood outside my door screaming, "I'M NOT JUDGING YOU!" over and over.
I was judging you.
Nah its cool some of my cousins have fucked the same girls and brought them on family vacations and everything.
He told me to be careful with the shrooms because he mostly had caps left. He sounded apologetic but that's the best news all week.
You came out of your room naked under your open robe with a mouth full of brownie on a stick and grabbed a fistful of fruit loops and shoved them into your already full mouth.
Just put on slippers before underwear so you know where my priorities are
i had every intention of working out now im just drinking wine and thinking about taking nudes in my thigh high tube socks
Dipping my sugar cookies in a glass of fireball and creme soda. This is holiday spirit
ALL I WANT FOR CHRISTMAS IS FOR YOU TO SHUT THE FUCK UP FOR ONCE
We had sex then laid in his bed eating chocolate and drinking juice boxes. I think I'm going to keep him around.
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