There is no excuse for watching a Jesse McCartney movie.
I couldn't be mad. She was crying because she fell bare ass into the rose bush trying to pee. So I held her up mid-stream and she peed on my feet. No big
Seriously, I want to give you a plaque thanking you for your dedicated service to my vagina.
Well there is another shower in Nov. So I have three months to figure out how to get some drunk space fucking. May need some of your mead
He probably thinks you're playing hard to get.
Hard to get?? I'm playing leave me the fuck alone.
the last time I drank tequila I ended up riding your skateboard nude down the street... so yeah, I'll have a few shots.
I'm literally taking a shit naked holding a bottle of wine.
Let's play the game let's see how long Kayla can be sober
After fooling around at the hotel til dawn, I managed to feed her with my free buffet passes. Tastes like sweet victory.
This place is full of unfortunate mustaches.
i believe in u and ur pee
Apparently I was directing traffic outside of Keeneland. Apparently I'm not a police officer. Who knew....
sorry i was ignoring you last night i accidentally did a bunch of pcp and thought i was inside tron
So... he's my second cousin's step-bro... To do or not to do?
This Cougar is looking at me like I’m a piece of meat and buying me top shelf cocktails
I’m getting a fear boner thinking about what she might do to me
Randomize
