My farts woke her up so I pretended to be keep sleeping.
Oh no, it isn't official until she poops.
Is it sad that when she told me he has a small peen I felt like it made us more compatible?
well my dad not being home definitely made it less awkward to walk in carrying the bra I left wearing.
I cant believe you went home with her.. Your poor immune system and the shit you put it through.
nothing like a walk of shame in front of a cnn news crew to start the morning off right
In the middle of the State of the Union, she unzipped my pants and started giving me head. I've never been so proud to be an American.
If that's all it takes to cure your hangovers then you need to drink more.
Then. Omg he showed me A CARD TRICK AFTER WE CAME
tried to suck my ex boyfriends dick last night at a bar... Happy homecoming from me to you
Well, you're 18 and dating a 28 year old. Who has a wife. Who isn't you. I would guess that's why your mom frowns upon the relationship.
On a unprofessional note, there's a new girl in photo.
That wasn't unprofessional. The fact that I'm going to fuck her is unprofessional.
Only I would get an underage 24 hours before turning 21.
Why is there bacon in the couch?
all my friends are getting married and here i am in a committed relationship with rum
Randomize
