when she said she would show you her other bow, she ment she wanted you to bend her over and see the tattoo on her lower back you idiot
i'm waiting for the less fat version of him to text me
it was like he was trying to blow his nose in my vagina
Me and my vagina aren't speaking at the moment.
I'm going to a foam party and gonna grind someones dick off hayy
What drink are we having for lunch?
Normally this is when girls give blow jobs. That's how you mentally condition them to put up with PMSing, because they see the shinny blowjob light at the end of the tunnel.
I texted him 3 days ago he said he was pre gaming for the Super Bowl today he just text" gtomajg kaka hee 48!!!"
i had an epiphany while laying on the driveway for 5 hours yesterday.
i realized i waste a lot of time
I just had sex with the kid I walked next to at my first holy communion
Dude get over here. Steven brought super soakers filled with colored vodka.
I trusted a fart in Toronto. NEVER TRUST A FART IN TORONTO.
Found out that I went to the same elementary school as the guy I'm hooking up with. Kosher or no
What time is our conjugal visit?
Umm...who is this?
He just canceled. I got an amazing new dress and now he’s decided he’s spending the weekend with his family
In other news, there’s some rando in an expensive hotel bar who is going to get very lucky tonight because I love the way this dress makes my tits look. Want to help me find him?
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