I would like to be the first to explain to you that if you've woken up with bruised knuckles this morning, it's because last night you tried climbing out of our car window and into the drive through window at maccas. The cashier chick freaked out and slammed the window on you and beat you around the head with her headset thingy.
Shittttttt.
Be not ashamed. It was youtube-worthy.
We just had a sexually tense moment where we both chose the trough the pee. I love gay clubs.
Yeah it'll definitely be worth it. Not having syphilis all the time you know
I sat on the toilet and peed through my jeans, then I pissed the bed and blamed him...do you think well have a 2nd date?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My legs have surpassed "hairy" and entered the territory of "furry". Maybe I should just suck it up and shave already
No now I'm curious!
Just casually ripping a bowl in the chicken coop, with the chickens. NBD
So I'm not dead, but close call. I think I can handle one more bar.
I achieved maximum drunk last night. It was pretty extreme. Woke up on a couch, outside, in a suit
My pants are on and I'm pretty sure I tried to throw them at someone.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You should be able to leave recommendations on Tinder.
The more I drank he just got hotter and hotter. And then the mustache didn't look too bad
he has pokemon bedsheets but his dick is huge so i took one for the team
Last night was like blooper reel sex. He dropped me!!
PLEASE HELP ME THE AMERICANS ARE YELLING ABOUT TURKEY, I DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO
Played Gay Bar on the jukebox and pissed off the Republicans here. Best day before birthday ever.
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