508, what difference does it make? You were alone, anyway.
I too understand the importance of cheesy bread
You love popeyes more than me
does delicious chicken come out of your vagina?
I wont touch it. I promise i wont touch it. JUST GET UNDER THE DAMN TABLE PLEASE.
I dont think a "sorry ive slept with most of your teammates" text will do much
i was debating whether to load antoher bowl when i realized i was holding a sandwich in one hand and a cookie in the other. and laughing.
Haha jealous. If I could remember my dreams I'm pretty sure they would constantly be about being drunk in foreign countries
did i send you the picture of me smiling with the magnum wrapper?
EXCEPT MY COUSIN SAW MY SEX TAPE!
Oh damn it. Let me get a beer. I can't take anymore bad news. Hold on.
I just want to drink bourbon and have sex and then eat like, a Christmas cookie.
Drunk is not a location!
I'm sorry you're hurting. Would a picture or my erect penis help?
if i hadn't ended our catfight by hugging you one of us might be dead right now
I accidentally made jungle juice last night.
Randomize
