I looked at my own cervix.
It's not mothers day until you're vomitting syrup into grandma's toilet. Cherish the holidays
What happened at the top of the stairs is never to be spoken of again.
Just threw up on my desk at work. They are making me go home.
I poured myself a glass of chocolate chips at some point during the evening.
I think if I could use my boobs as a second pair of hands everything would be ok
we knew we'd be okay when we walked up to the dealers house and he asked us to please be quiet as to not wake his nana.
captain cockblock got me again last night so i put a squirrel in his room and jamed the door shut
I want to see boobs tonight. Like, real ones. Your ones.
I'm romantic.
She hash-tagged my name. I think it's safe to say that she remembers our hookup.
Maybe if he'd step up his game and get a real job instead of donating plasma and trying to grow pot then you wouldn't feel compelled to write prisoners in Oregon.
Like I actually don't feel all that great but the fact that I'm not projectile vomiting at work makes life seem so magical
Last thing I remember was a hand in the pants. Then I woke up next to a full beer and a McDouble, which I promptly had for breakfast.
I refuse to believe this is a lapse in my dick hunting skills. It's gotta be the gods playing a game.
It’s a 10 inch dick! Of course I’m getting a Brazilian
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