I don't make mistakes...just understandable bad choices.
Cruel joke of nature. Hair on head runs from face, and hides on various parts of body. Aging sucks.
Would love to except that I crashed into a hearse in a funeral procession about an hour ago so I think that pretty much put an end to my day.
What happened at the top of the stairs is never to be spoken of again.
Would you please stop exposing your tits on my couch?
Fuck you, my tits are fabulous
I woke up and discovered I gave new meaning to the term "pizza pockets" yes it's exactly like it sounds like
we should definitely drink gin again. soon.
How do we have all these hot friends who we never do body shots off of
Also, it was so cold in that bathroom that I saw my crap steaming, a first in my life
Still drunk on my morning "run" which has turned into a walk. Just burped fireball
You drunk? Cause I have a terrible idea...
Come over so I can fuck you louder than her country music
I'm shrooming way too hard to deal with your bullshit at this particular point in time
Sometimes, it’s important to take a moment and kinkshame yourself.
just had sex in a stairwell with six feet five inches worth of drama
Dude on the shuttle bus eating a Butterfinger and watch porn on his phone and doesn’t give a fuck who knows
We need to get on his level
Randomize
