Gte hit a new low, I took a poopnap, passed out mid poop on the toilet.
You drinking a lot?
No.
Define a lot
is this the only place in the world where you can get shot on one side of town, and have to stop for cows crossing the street on the other side?
It's noon and i am somehow drinking by myself in a jazz tent in broad daylight.
That explains waking up with one hand in the toilet and the other in the trash can
video games are the ultimate cock blocker
She wouldn't go home with me cause I forgot her name. I didn't realize it would matter after she danced with her vagina on my face
He's 11. You dont draw dicks on 11 year olds, i dont care if he ate your lasagna
is it cool if i crash at ur house this weekend again bro
yea dude but i wld bring a sleeping bag or something just in case. or u may just have to shack up with a woman or 2 cuz we hav 10 girls visiting/staying over at my house.
how did u manage to make sleeping with a bunch of girls sound like an inconvenience?
Seriously, she had fingers that made me thank a god I don't even believe in that I'm gay.
But seriously. What possible excuse could I come up with to ditch my parents on Christmas to go fuck him?
We got drunk and crashed a fifty year old woman's birthday party for the food. Whoops.
he called me ma'am when we were fucking last night...he's five years older than me. I think I'm in love.
I responded like every reasonable adult would. With a gif
I'm pretty sure I have PMS because I almost just cried about not being able to find a place that gives acrobat classes here.
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