I'm cheering for the colts this year. I basically have to since my fake says i'm from indianapolis
I took a bird feeder and filled it with alka-seltzer. Can you say fireworks?
Can we please just celebrate being alive this far into the school year and just get drunk?
you can now officially say a girl has shaved your initials into her pubes. welcome to the club.
U should just post that picture of u two on facebook with the caption, does anyone know this girl? If so please tell her to take plan b, thanks
you dont understand this isnt a sit at a sports bar eating wings and having a beer night. this is a show up to the bar with a fith of Jack and just let what happens happen kinda night. im expecting to smack a bouncer
Ok let me change into clothes i can run in
by 11 am we'd already been drunk twice. how much lower can you go?
The party went downhill once the fire department had to be called to put out the kitchen fire.
I feel bad for his balls. Ive never seen so much sperm. He had to be dying
Besides. I don't even really like sex because it feels great. I like it because for thirty minutes I own that guys ass.
Just discovered i ordered the nhl center ice package back in september, the operator said there was a note next to the time I called, indicating I may have been intoxicated while calling (no clue why but it was noted)...meaning I was drunk...meaning ill never miss another sabres game...i love me and am beaming with self pride
you know it was a successful halloween when you wake up and have a firecracker in your tits
It was bitter sweet because I woke him up with sex but then I peed in his bed with him in it
I just quoted part of the Pokemon theme song in a sext... And it worked
I’ve gotta be honest, I didn’t expect to have sex. I didn’t shave... anything. You couldn’t have been impressed.
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