Yeah next time you are over I'll let you beat it on her pillows and you will feel better.
I mean, he's dancing back and forth between pathetically sad and massively fucking creepy.
She went to the bathroom before i broke up with her so i changed all 2500 of her songs on her computer to "I'm a cheating whore"
He is now tagging himself in my pics from last year where he is barely visable in the corner. i feel like he's marking his territory.
he said verbatim, he wants to "bang you hard".
The bartender just legitimately thanked me for breaking the cycle of speed metal by playing mmmbop.
i don't think that has ever happened before in the history of man
I might have hooked up with a 2003 alumni last night in the basement
Dude you were ten when he graduated
Wahoowaaaaaaa
Carson kissed me on my cold sore before I could stop him so I think I gave my kid herpes. Mom of the year. Just call me MOTY.
I made out with drunk Joe Dirt and then put his mullet wig on for him. True Halloween romance.
Lets just put it this way. Im meeting his nana after a mind blowing orgasm.
This is why we can never be together. Well that and we r married to other ppl but that's very minor detail compared to the coffee issue
In other news my pubic hair is covered in glitter.
I just met him at a place called the meat farm, Jesus be a shield.
You fist bumped my dick last night saying good game. That you'll be back for the 2nd game...
Sorry i ignored you for so long. I think my vibrator is broken.
Randomize
