New low: just hacked my moms facebook
you know you've been playing too much mario kart when you see a curve in the road ahead and see yourself drifting around it
Im drinking a beer thats called vuuve which is boobs in begian. I think my life is complete.
im at planned parenthood. the form wants to know what our usual form of contraception is?
anal.
new low.... made out with someone while peeing
I keep trying to sit and the chair keeps running away from me
just gave a homeless man a kiss in exchange for two handles
exact location. now.
so all the bums hang out by my new store, they have a leader we call king bum... He got dethroned by police today for choking out a hooker. The bum heirarchy is in shambles right now.
moving back to school this early was a terrible idea we already used up our bail fund
Did I show you my penis last night?
it's my sixth sense. If there's an orgy within 20 miles of me i'll know about if. Or be a part of it.
All I remember was endless tequila and pulling karate moves from 3 Ninjas Kick Back towards the guy at 7 Eleven. Explanation?
He is asleep with his dick hanging out of my my little pony pajamas. I am required to wake this man up by blowjob
Your sexual fantasies often terrify me but get a pic
They found you popping and locking it alone in the parking lot
My yoga ball is now going to be used for actual exercise instead of somewhere to suction cup a dildo
Randomize
