Ridin mah bike see you on the moon
I just showed my tits to my brother on chatroulette. Could my life get any worse?
Probably shouldn't have worn my jeans covered in blood from last night to class.
Hypothetical question: how bad would bacardi be as an IV drip?
death...100% death...what r u planning.
Seriously. My vagina. Can we talk about it? It's gonna jump off this treadmill and devour my trainer.
I just learned my tits were fire resistant. I should join the freakin circus
I think my hookup is starting to fall for me. Time to break his heart.
I'm wearing too many socks to be ok with this.
Whoever put the rooster in the elevator is my fucking hero. Who even thinks of that shit?
She had a belly button piercing in the shape of a cross. Talk about mixed messages.
You fell asleep on the toilet and he was like uh should I take her off?
I just got called the stable friend. This makes me super uncomfortable
Pretty sure I was naked for most of the night.....success
Note to self: dont wear a butt plug for several hours and then go gym and try and do squats
Just so you know, I choose to answer your bootytext tonight because it was the most creative.
Randomize
