Please explain to me what this has to do with my fantasy to fuck larry king?
There's a girl at 7-11 apologizing for her behavior and asking if she can get her shoes back.
her bridesmaids come in huge, huger, wtf, and free willy. all their gown are strapless. its like watching the Hindenburg waddle down the isle.
when we woke up the fish was dead lying next to us on the bed. wat should i tell her
My brain is foggy with friends reruns and him licking hummus off my tits.
HOW DID YOU END UP IN THE BATHROOM WITH A DANCER AFTER 12 MINUTES?
I found his Linkedin the day after he created it. Too stalkerish or just right?
I'm laying in bed listening to Purple Rain on repeat. If you wanna bone, come up, but if not, at least Prince understands me.
They gave me patron and potatoes I couldn't say no
I just remembered you petting my nose last night to help the cocaine 'sink in'. I don't think that's how it works
Apparently I was having great conversation with this 48 year old on grindr & he was concerned as to how I was getting home.
He used the term 'cock-staggering' in an email. So needless to say things are going pretty well.
I remember eating bacon bits off your chest that night... I'll never look at bacon pizza the same way
This reminds me of the time you were crying and puking in the toilet at that party while i did shots of tequila in between blow drying your feet. miss you!
So I figured it out. There's two types of shitters. Moaners and grunters. And on occasion there's a third. It's the ill fabled grunt moaner.
Randomize
