Be sure to let me know if your relationship crumbles so I can resume hitting on you
He said he was from Mississippi and my vagina clamped shut like a frightened oyster
do you think they ever dumped Gatorade over Michael Vick's head after his dog won?
I woke up this morning with a bag of pepperonis in my bed.... and my facebook status was "pepperonis"
I hope that he knows just because i pissed in his bed doesn't mean were together.
Make sure you have everything youll need until sunday. aka a green shirt and condoms.
The sigh of relief when u realize none of your drunk texts will result in permanent damage
I've drank literally 19 beers and am still good. Utah is worthless
you walked around drinking beer out of a plunger and telling people it was a goblet...
As he was going down on me, I looked over his shoulder and said "ohh a Christian mingle commercial is on"
IM NOT TALKING TO YOU UNTIL YOU MAKE A PROCLAMATION YOU LOVE ME MORE THAN TACOS
Now when you said you'd never sleep with me, did you really mean never on a Monday or never without handcuffs or a blindfold or never on a airplane or never without lots of booze? Cus never is a pretty strong word.
is it just me or does "lol" kill any sort of vibe while sexting?
How was the tequila? Are you making bad decisions yet?
The blunt fell in the hottub, i mean i knew she was upset but i didnt expect her to dive for it and come up balling her eyes out...
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