Microwaved placenta is very unpleasant.
Fuck appropriateness.
i just turned the eviction notice into a beer pong list
The fire breather is here so I may get my second wind.
Trying to figure out when's a good time to take acid and not tell anyone and see how long it takes people to notice
Three things I need a picture of: your friend, your bong, and your dick.
I think you have the right to know, the water bottle you drank out of the other night is the bottle we use to catch what drips from the toilet. Love you!
Synchronized big wheels back flips off the second floor roof. Good idea or great idea?
YOU COME FROM SAD WHALE FAMILY, DEEP IN OCEAN!
Invite that kid who wants to become a priest. I WANT ON.
Can't trust a bar that doesn't have fireball
New low: uploading my contacts into Facebook in an attempt to get the name of the girl I brought home last night.
You told me you were trying to learn all the MLB ballparks while you waited for your porn to load.
I swear I was in Legend of Zelda Twilight Princess and American Ninja Warrior at the same time. I'm never getting high while rock climbing again.
Dear god my vagina.
Randomize
