You know you think of me naked too
Not since I found Jesus
Dude, you need to talk to your mom
wtf?
She just called and asked if i would be part of the intervention she's planning for you
I just found a dead bug in my nose. if that's the worst thing up there im considdering myself lucky.
great, thanks for announcing that I gave you head over twitter
at least I said it was good
I'm also annoyed at my horoscope for not warning me of my perils
i just ate a whole pizza and threw it back up in the time span of 13 minutes. give me the number to guiness book of world records.
IF CHARLIE SCHEEN CAN DO IT I CAN DO IT IM A PROFESSONAL
I just saw her take the entire bowl of lime wedges from the bar and pour them all in her purse, and now using the empty bowl as a hat. Waiting for security to come and throw her ass out.
There comes a time where you just have to sit back and watch the drunken idiots pee on each other
I'll just put on a bunch of mascara and cry right before I get there. Then everyone will recognize me.
He puked over my shoulder into the toilet. The guy in the next stall sounded totally appalled.
Friends don't brand friends with cigars. It's not how it works.
I haven't answered because I haven't figured out a polite way of saying fuck no
A guy in a chewbacca suit just came up to me and asked me to buy him weed.
It was like Strip poker and blow, but with Yu-Gi-Oh cards
Randomize
