do u think i could put an abortion on my debit card?
i'm all for saving the environment, but when we get into the shower to fuck, he shouldn't flip his shower hourglass timer
If you're going to watch porn, can you atleast be considerate and watch it on my old laptop and not the new one?
So drunk can't even tell it's my own house. WOaoOw.
I fucked the bump it out of her hair. just had to let everyone know.
I got used. This is the happiest day of my life. I was just a huge cock and that is all she needed.
My mom just called me to tell me that i dont have chlamydia. Awkward.
sometimes, you gotta take him by the hands like tails took sonic, and fly him into the bedroom.
Reasons I shouldn't drink... My twitter drafts keep getting more and more emotional.
I was basically just fingering myself and thinking about space.
she doesn't even know what year it is. She just stumbles around life with a bottle of rum
Look I'm really high right now, and if I were to leave this house, it would be for the sole purpose of getting an ice cream sandwich. So can you please just do it.
Leave it to you to bring a trash can into a fist fight.
I'm surronded by jorts. You're probably too drunk to care. I'm gonna cry now. Love you.
You kept calling yourself a spider monkey... Then ran to the bathroom to "prepare for the main event"
Randomize
